never stops teaching.
Journaling for awareness. Growing for life.
Life is so full! In the last month, we traveled to the east coast for my sister’s wedding, closed on the purchase of our home, began some home demo and instillation, wrapped up school for the year and began to squeeze our friends extra tight before loading the moving truck next week. I’ve been so busy and excited that I’ve hardly had a second to notice that I’m stressed. It hit me today that, yes, I’m a little stressed. As if the “overload” warning light illuminated on the dashboard of my frontal lobe. I’d suddenly had quite enough of coordinating things, making decisions, saying emotional goodbyes, and facing the sentimental recycling bin, into which I’ve had to place various finger paintings and macaroni necklaces that have collected over that last few years. They say to save only the treasures, but why is it that everything feels like a treasure right now?
In the middle of all this, the kids have been so resilient. They are genuinely excited and ready to jump in and help. What is the secret to their flexibility? Sometimes I wonder if limited responsibility is the answer. But more likely, a child’s flexibility stems from his or her ability to surrender to a moment and embrace what is new. Something that becomes more of a challenge with age.
This morning, I stood in the kitchen with a furrowed brow, feeling the overload, trying to surrender to the fact that Kevin had knocked down a closet wall that we had decided not to knock down (he remembered the conversation after the fact – oops! Haha. In the end I like the result, but we lost a weekend to this project.) Midway through my regrouping, Keegan walked in. “What are you doing, Mama?”
“Oh, just thinking something through.”
He looked at me curiously. “Ok, but when you’re done come upstairs because we’re playing spaceship and you’ll love what we did with the big box!”
That’s when I heard it: Stop thinking so much. Just enjoy! So I did.
Even though my best moving box now has holes in it for spaceship windows, I have surrendered to blast off into the unknown without the need to anticipate every little thing. The walls can come down, and it won’t matter. Because the destination is not the completed project; it is the process of getting there with the ones you love!