Because life
never stops teaching.

Journaling for awareness. Growing for life.

Children’s Views

I had a dream the other night that I was rowing out on the ocean in a little wooden skiff. My youngest child was in my lap. The water was calm and all was well until the boat began to leak. Holes sprung up everywhere. One then another. The water was suddenly a powerful ocean with a deep darkness below it. I worked frantically to try to empty the water from the boat with the small scoop of my hands, not succeeding before I woke myself up.

It’s not like me to have anxiety dreams, but then the last couple months haven’t exactly been typical. They’ve brought about challenges that I haven’t been ready to write about before now. I guess …

Continue reading Holes

Life is so full! In the last month, we traveled to the east coast for my sister’s wedding, closed on the purchase of our home, began some home demo and instillation, wrapped up school for the year and began to squeeze our friends extra tight before loading the moving truck next week. I’ve been so busy and excited that I’ve hardly had a second to notice that I’m stressed. It hit me today that, yes, I’m a little stressed. As if the “overload” warning light illuminated on the dashboard of my frontal lobe. I’d suddenly had quite enough of coordinating things, making decisions, saying emotional goodbyes, and facing the sentimental recycling bin, into which I’ve had to place various finger …

Continue reading Sweet Surrender

Last week I was concerned that I’d upset a long-time friend by canceling our dinner plans. I had to leave her a message the day before explaining my conflict, and when I still hadn’t heard back from her several days later, I began to wonder if I’d let her down. I mentioned it to my husband, Kevin, the other night while we were washing dishes. He smiled and casually handed me a plate to dry. “I’m sure she just has a lot going on. I wouldn’t over-think it, babe.” I promised him I wouldn’t, but not before calling my friend again to check in. “Just calling to tell you I love you. Hope to have dinner soon,” was all I …

Continue reading Awareness

 

Last week I reflected on the incredible friends I have made over the last ten years while living in the south bay. I have been fortunate to meet many amazing people who make my life shine brightly. This has been the busiest time of my life—raising three young children—and my friends have helped me to celebrate the simple moments and find levity within the complications. They have helped to make this the time of my life. The community here is a part of me.

Kevin and I have lived in three homes in the time we’ve been here, happily meeting new neighbors and finding new routines. But we have been searching for our long-term home, longing to put roots down. And …

Continue reading “Beginning”

My five-year-old asked me this morning at breakfast, “What do you do?” For a second I didn’t understand the question.
“As my job?” I asked Keegan.
“Yes.” He was looking at me thoughtfully from behind his cinnamon toast.
Before I could answer, Adeline said, “She creates things.”
Keegan began to giggle. “Like us!”
Adeline went on to elaborate on some of my other projects, classes, etc., but all morning I’ve been thinking about it… I create things. I like the simplicity of it. Isn’t that what we all do? Create things. It looks different for everyone, but at a soul level, I imagine we’re all in the process of creating something right now. If it doesn’t always earn us a paycheck or come with a …

Continue reading Renewed Identity

Last Sunday I woke up to loud music and giggles. I had slept way past my morning wake up call and pulled myself out of bed at 7am to find a dance party in my living room. Adeline and Brennan seemed to be doing a tribute to Saturday Night Fever with big pointed finger moves in their jammies, while Keegan rocked out shirtless with a plastic guitar in his pants, lip sinking (so to speak) to Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing!

Coffee please.

This is, of course, a great way to wake up on a Sunday morning. And outside of the Shrek ears headband and 1980s sunglasses on Keegan, it was a pretty typical scene. However it captivated me more than former living …

Continue reading Big Moments

Remember your 20s? Or maybe you’re still in that incredible time of life. It astounds me how good I had it in my 20s and how I didn’t realize it. I think that is partially what the 20s is supposed to be about—relatively carefree (comparatively speaking) exploration of Self and world. Sure, I had responsibilities and major decisions to make. I had problems. But life gets deeper quickly. Here I am, smack in the middle of my 30s, and I have a greater appreciation for, well… everything.

This morning, a friend of mine shared with me her recent health diagnosis. I was stunned by the severity of her situation, and I’m not sure I managed to comfort her. I listened and …

Continue reading The Plot Thickens in Act II

Dear beautiful, sensitive, seven-year-old daughter,

You will see and experience things in this life that will trouble you. I may not always be able to explain it all away, but I hope you will still come to me and let me listen. I hope you will rest your head in my lap and let me stroke your hair. And I hope beyond all hopes, that I will be able to help you remember what you so profoundly seem to understand today–that life is truly beautiful and that we are each a part of that astounding beauty.
I love you.

(And ice-cream really does make everything a little bit better!)

Mom

What are you doing for Valentine’s Day? Six people have asked me this. I JUST got the babysitter so Kevin and I can actually go out—although I’m sure every place in town will be packed. Don’t get me wrong; I actually love this holiday. What’s not to love about a day dedicated to love? It’s just that Valentine’s Day, like most things in my life, has changed quite a bit since I had kids. This week we spent a few hours prepping valentines for three classrooms, making little gifts for teachers, and baking heart cookies. The heart shaped cookie cutters have been a hit with Brennan, so he has been requesting heart shaped food for days. Heart shaped toast with …

Continue reading In the Spirit of Love

A few years ago we were introduced to the book “How Full Is Your Bucket?” By Tom Rath. It’s the story of a boy named Felix discovering that a person’s actions affect others using the metaphor of a bucket. When someone is kind to another, it puts a drop in his or her bucket. When they are unkind, it dips into the bucket. I loved this idea, and we have been using “bucket” language in our house ever since. Recently I decided to bring the bucket discussion to life so it didn’t remain just a loose concept. I put out actual buckets for the kids to fill. And now, throughout the week, we write down moments when someone put a …

Continue reading Bucket Filling

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